i was really looking forward to meeting some friends on friday for breakfast right after drop off. after i got out of the shower that morning (god forbid i actually take a shower) i expected everyone to be already fed from the breakfast i had set out and in the car waiting for me wearing the clothes i washed and laid out. instead i came out to everyone happily dancing around to the radio in their pajamas making a huge breakfast using every pot and pan in the kitchen. well let's just say things did not go as planned.
this made me so upset on so many levels. so i decided to go on strike. i decided to put away anything that i get out and do only things that pertain to me or baby R.
without going into too many details....
here are a few things i have already noticed as of day 2:
1. being on strike is a lot harder than i thought. the first day i woke up, rolled out of bed and before even making it into the kitchen, i made the bed, closed the door which was left wide open, flushed the toilet which was full of someone else's sweet surprise, changed the toilet paper roll, and put away the milk which was sitting out on the table. this whole "ignoring the mess" is going to take some practice...
2. the kids are fighting just as much as when i was trying to "handle" every situation the right way. it is surprising how many times they will actually work things out on their own. i think i even notice the nice things they do for one another more when i am not mad at the last thing they did.
3. the kids really don't care if the house is a mess. they do not care if their room gets out of control. they do not care if they have to put laundry away more than they need to, they will still put clean clothes in the dirty clothes basket.
4. when i am not suggesting outfits to wear... tap shoes and a winter sweater dress are worn to the performance for the last day of vacation bible school.
5. i am losing confidence in my strike because i don't think anyone even notices and i am afraid of the mess i am eventually going to have to clean up.
5 comments:
I think a Mommy strike sounds good but with my kiddos it wouldn't work either. Here is just a Suggestion for you if you want it: From the Discipline class I finished in May the instructor said she does (Her name...Creative Consquences) So, like: Mommy's Creative Consquences. I just started this and it is working out pretty good so far. So, like for instance if they don't listen I choose what ever consquence I want to do. Like they have to pick up 10 things off the floor or clean the whole room or wipe down the table or go to time out or even a slap on the hand (like the nuns used to do with the rulers but I just use my hand). I like the cleaning thing because I always have something they can clean AND everything looks pretty good around here. :) And if they don't do it they will be given more. Tell them YOU are in charge it is YOUR rules and YOUR consquences that YOU get to pick (whatever consequences you fill comfortable doing). I love it because there is no nagging and complaining which is better for Sean and I and the kids.
Also, KUDDOS to you for doing VBS I would not do it because I know I can't get out of the house that early without stressing so I just picked up some stuff (I will post some pics) to do at the house without having to worry about feeling guilty that they didn't go. We are doing swim classes at 10:00 AM which is a good enough time for everyone to get ready for us. :) Just trying to do the best we can. Also don't forget to pray about their behavior and what is the best way for you to handle it. :)
Hooray for Mommy Strike!!! I have been on several and although, not super effective...it does feel nice to say it like it could actually happen.
I am sorry you had a rough week. For the record- you are amazing. I can't handle one kid. Seriously, I can't and am overwhelmed every second of everyday. The fact that you can deal with 5 is crazy amazing. (Even if it is chaotic...)
I would love to help out in any way that you need me. I don't any helpful advice like Lorie- because I pretty much cry everyday from being so stressed about Mommyhood- BUT I am a good listener and ALWAYS enjoy hanging with you!! Call me whenever!
Ok, Nellie you are probably tired of me:) but I thought of something else. (Now, my kids are no way perfect and just ask Sean about that one) but I just thought to tell you these other things because I was teacher and because I CONSTANTLY have to work at these myself so they are fresh in my mind.
1. Give losts of praises
2. Tell them about making good choices and bad choices
I thought there was one more, but I can't remember now.
Also for me I can't tell myself that it is hard, or I can't see a Mom with only a couple kids and think how easy it is because frankly I think it is all in the mind. If you think it is hard it will be hard and I don't want to think of my kids being hard, you know what I mean? That can just make a good Mom fall to pieces. (And you know who that is trying to make a Mom fall to pieces) I know it has done that to me in the past. So be stronger. Keep at it and it will be fine and PRAY. By the way, I think your girls are great and you might think mine are but I am always reminding them about how to behave and sometimes they need more than just a reminder...Consequences.:)
You go sister!!! I am behind you 100%. Let me know how it works for you...I know I couldn't do it! Me and messes do not get along. However, I think I'm doing a disservice to my kids by cleaning up THEIR messes! :)
Once again...you are my hero!
Nell - I think you are an amazing mom. I am always amazed how you redirect; do lots of crafts; play with them; give them reasonable consequences, etc.
You are right - kids really don't care if the house is messy - but something I read long ago said something about when you are old and look back you never say, "I wish I had kept the house cleaner." But you do regret not enjoying your kids more. I think Grandma has a saying about it.
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