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i was going to look for a creative/cute /interesting photo to add for wordless or not so wordless wednesday... but i couldn't find one.

R is rambling on behind me about a battle between the dark side and the good side. he's super into star wars and drawing right now. so he has drawn out an intricate game with papers sprawled across the table. he's happy. that makes me happy.

J is slumbering peacefully in his bed.

some god-awful smell is coming form the garbage can {i think} but i'm too irritated to do anything about it.

we have a trillion billion unfinished projects going on and it's overwhelming.

i must be pms-ing.

i am using my iphone calendar like it's nobody's business. we are full fledged into the semester and man oh man is it busy. a very elaborate carpool schedule is in place everyday, and differs everyday. it's quite a dance.

i have been reflecting on my friends lately, not that i have seen anyone in what feels like a long time, and thinking how lucky i am to have such great women in my life. it's so important to be a good listener, to act and remain interested when someone is talking, especially with constant interruptions from small children, or a sound, or a bird flying by... OR CELLPHONES! i digress, i am thankful for my friends who are solid, honest and present people.

ok i am definitely pms-ing.

i've started trying to be really mindful about what i eat during the week. and i started a boot camp 3 days a week as well. this is my second week. oh man is it hard this week. all i want to do/all i think about is going over to culvers and ordering the biggest chocolate custard and stuffing it in my face. it makes me happy just thinking about doing it. not as happy as if i were to actually do it.

i've really enjoyed the daily devotions i've been reading, blessed is she. they are so inspiring and a good reminder to reign it in, especially when my mind is about to blow with the chaos of family life.

family life.... so rich and draining at the same time. i am so enjoying the sweet and mostly calm mornings with my boys. that's the life man. it's hard to remember why i ever even slightly complained about tough moments with my older kids, when they were little. granted i did have 4 of them home whereas now i only have 2 at home during the day, but still... the time goes by so fast. and you still have so much control over little kids. big kids come with many laughs and many helpful times, not as demanding as when they are little, but also big worries. i seem to worry so much more now. i feel like in the mornings i can breathe and starting at 2:45 i hold my breath until about 11:30 when i collapse into bed.

and for some reason, i wake up every morning, ready and willing, to try to do better than i did the day before.

i always loved, and still do, the first sound of my baby waking up in the morning. i get a little thrill, i run in there and can't wait to kiss him/her and say good morning. that always baffled me, especially on mornings when i had possibly been up all night with them.

that's how my life feels right now. up all night with a baby, but somehow muster up the energy to do it all over again the next day. {luckily our baby is sleeping thru the night now that we switched up the rooms a bit}

it's busy, chaotic, some {very normal, nothing out of the ordinary} worries about the people i am responsible for, trying to come up with new, fresh and effective game plans with my spouse, which is a feat in itself sometimes, forgiving myself when i mess up, forgiving others when they mess up and starting it all over again.

and all it takes is one kind word, the smile on a kids face from a good grade, a funny story, the pride one has from her hand-crocheted yarn panda {little S is really into crochet}, a mastered piano song, a simple hug....
and that thrill rises up inside and reminds me that i am doing a good job.